Of Kitchen Utensils And Drag Queen Races
by Otaku-TACO
Summary: '99 recipes huh?2 years of training,99 recipes to collect and an island full of shitty okamas to avoid and kick the asses of.Well that sounds promising don't ya think?Sanji thinks so.'After 2 years of being stuck on the same island with the same group of people,your bound to form some form of bond with them eventually right?Sanji disagrees.They're just poisoning him after all...


_**Fun Fact:**_** When I was deciding on what to call this story, I came up with two options. one of them is currently the actual title-obviously, but the other title was "A Cook's Knife; An Okama's Dress". Which one do you like better? Think I should've gone with this one or do you like the current title better? Feel free to tell me if you want. I've been curious over it for a while so...yeah...**

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**Title: Of Cooking Utensils And Drag Queen Races**

**Anime: One Piece**

**Main people/person: Sanji & Okamas**

**Rating: K+ **** T **

**Genre: Friendship (ish)**

**Disclaimer:**

_**Roses can be red,**_

_**I've seen violets that are violet,**_

_**I literally own shit,**_

_**Why the hell would you sue?**_

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_99 recipes _huh_?_

2 years of training, 99 recipes to collect and an island full of shitty okamas to avoid and kick the asses of. Well _that _sounds promising don't ya think? Sanji thinks so. The damned okamas are strong-it's true- but Sanji is_ getting those recipes damn it_! He could make his crew stronger, healthier and more energetic (not that Luffy needs extra energy though- Sanji swears that the shitty rubber captain could run around the entire planet twice before even _starting _to feel the fatigue; hunger _**not**_ included) just by feeding them the new foods! Not to mention that (if even possible) it might make his precious Nami-swan and Robin-chwan even sexier than they are now! _Melloriine!_

By the time one month has passed he's_ finally _been able to defeat at least _one _of them and retrieved the recipe he/she had. It was a type of pasta. When the time for cooking it came around however, he was gradually surprised. They weren't indecent! They worked attentively and acted so focused and mature that Sanji thought they were entirely different people that replaced the sickos that chased him day and night to force him into-and he quotes- 'The cutest dresses they have'. They were like actual civilized people! In all honesty Sanji truly believed that they would be sneaky and still try to force him into those clothes. Like, for them to sneak up on him while his guard was down and force him back into _those _clothes. For them to try and put him in a wig and wear make-up. For them to somehow sneak a peek at his underwear again or make him blush. Generally speaking, he expected them to act how the normally acted when he was being chased. He never even imagined they could be decent yet alone proper, civilized humans! He's even more shocked when they all sat down to enjoy the meal they made. They even occasionally made small talk! He joined in on rare moments, mainly to thank a few of them when they complement him with stunned faces about his cooking skills. But as he finishes off the food from his plate he supposes that he shouldn't be _so _surprised. After all, you don't get something _this _good just by goofing off in the kitchen.

By the time half of his training is done and only a year is left he's collected a grand total of 49 out of 99 recipes. He still has a long way to go before he has all the recipes or he's strong enough (presumably more so than the shitty swordsman) to return to his nakama or he can actually _get the hell off this shitty island,_ but oddly enough…he doesn't mind that much… I mean sure, the freaks in dresses are annoying as hell but…he's not even really sure. Whenever they're all in that kitchen cooking…it just like they're all old friends preparing a meal together. He had always kept his guard up though. Always suspecting an attack. An attack that never came. So, eventually and without him really meaning to or noticing, his guard slipped down. Not completely though. Just enough so that if- no,_ when_- they attacked he would only be caught _a little bit_ off guard and unsuspecting. Or...at least that's what he kept telling himself.

_The 99__th__ recipe._

By the time he's acquired that it's almost time to start preparing to leave. He curses himself for that. He should've been quicker in dealing those sickos. No doubt the shitty marimo would mock him for it if he ever found out. But in his defense, the freaks _were_ pretty damn strong. Speaking of those okamas... he thinks that they might just be doing something to him. Maybe even slipped something into his food while he wasn't looking. Anything really. Because, this is hell. This island is hell and all its inhabitants are demons but, when the thought of leaving crosses his mind he feels…sad? Honestly, that just _can't_ be right. So when he finds out that a pretty damn good amount of them are sailing back to Sabaody with him, he brushes off the relief he feels as just them poisoning him in secrecy.

…(But if he were to be honest with himself- he'd be damned if he ever was though- the damned to hell freaks weren't _so_ bad when they weren't chasing and trying to force him into dresses.)…

The parting with them was as you would expect. The moment they got to the archipelago he showed his appreciation for every _actual_ women he saw (and scared them away too), they called to him- which pissed him off a bit-, he yelled insults and such at them, somehow managing to thank them for everything at the same time, and promptly ran off, pulling out the vivre card to make sure he didn't get lost like the idiot marimo.

He makes sure that he doesn't see _any_ of them for the rest of the time he's waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. He didn't want to see them anytime soon at the moment (and no, it's not just because he 'hates' them). He assumes the feelings were mutual until he's back on the Sunny, ready for departure. The marines on land are, miraculously, nowhere in sight. They couldn't even hear any yelling! Then he felt the all too familiar disgusted shiver that he only got from _them_, run down his spine. He wasn't sure why it came for a while but, eventually, the pieces fit together. Marines…gone…them…seriously strong sickos…him…friends?…help…ooooooohhhhhh…

And then he smiles. Maybe he'll see them again? Who knows? He might just see them real soon…And then he's grimacing. He might see them again soon? Wonderful…(Mixed feeling much?)

…

It isn't until the whole 'Fishman Island Fight' thing is over and they've already departed the island does Sanji _finally_ get the chance to cook for his crew and show off what he's spent 2 years perfecting. And when he did, _man_, did he go _all out_! He made so much that it almost made _Luffy_ full! It was also very extravagant and attractive in appearance while still never skimming away from flavor and vitamins, minerals, nutrients and everything else that helps keep his crew healthy. It was one of them new recipes he had obtained. To be specific, the _first_ one he had obtained.

And _man_, did they _love _it! Even the marimo grumbled out a reluctant complement! Sanji really couldn't help the wave of pride, success, confidence and superiority he felt because of that last part especially. He'd never, not even _once_, complemented his cooking before. He felt a smirk forming on his features the moment he heard it…And then die back down into a scowl and angry eyes at the _next_, much _clearer_ and _louder_ words to leave said green-haired man's mouth.

"Tch, guess you finally improved from shit cook to mildly crap cook, huh?"

Sanji is proud to say that he at least got one good kick in before his precious Nami-swan broke up the fight. Once that was over, he proceeded to light his cigarette, trying to ignore the still throbbing and steaming bump on his head. "Sanji?"

His head snapped up and turned in the direction of his captain's voice. "Hmm? What is it Luffy?" he asked. He had been strangely quiet than while he was eating and had an odd, thoughtful expression on his face, as if something about this was familiar. Sanji could only guess that he was thinking about.

"Who taught you how to make this?"

He blinked. _Ok,_ he thought, _that's definitely _not_ like Luffy…_

But then he thought about the question. _Who had taught him how to make this?_ He definitely could _not_ say it was those okamas. Not now at least. And _especially_ not with the marimo in the room. But couldn't exactly _not_ answer the question. His _captain_ was asking it after all. Not to mention the others seemed to have taken varying levels of interest in the topic to at least lend an ear to the answer. _So much for 'Curiosity killed the cat'_, he thought.

Then something occurs to him and he smiles. It's small, faint and barely noticeable, especially around his cigarette but it's still there and it's still genuine.

"Just some friends I made while training…"

And he leaves it at that. Because, honestly, what more _is_ there to it? Everyone seems to accept the answer, simply shrugging and returning to their meals. Everyone except for Luffy. His face blank and eyes carefully scanning Sanji. And then, suddenly, Luffy _smiles_. And it's not his usual grin or broad smile either. It's a soft, small and knowing smile that Sanji can't remember ever seeing before. He gives a curt nod, locking eyes with Sanji for barely half a second before he's turning his head back to the food presented to him and he's Luffy again, stealing food and all. But Sanji has a feeling that _Luffy knows_. He doesn't know how or why but Luffy _knows_.

Sanji lets out another puff of smoke and he can't help but think that _when_ he meets up with the sickos again, that he won't be the only one seeing friends again. _Hmph…this is _definitely_ gonna be interesting…_ The he's frowning. _This is gonna be _too _interesting isn't it?_

**Hey everyone! It's me-obviously! I **_**FINALLY**_** finished typing and editing this! Took forever and a half though. I have A LOT of other stories waiting to be typed/written/completed still and there's still school and all that so this is gonna take a while. Sorry! But, not all the stories are gonna be One Piece, so, if you like the Percy Jackson series (1****st**** and 2****nd****) keep an eye out for the stories to come! Keep an eye out if ya want and I'm always open for ideas! Thanks for follows, favs and all that! Till' next time my dearest strangers!**


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